1. It's ok.
2. It totally blows.
3. I think it will get better.
Well, it never did get better and now...it's over. I have left Tetra Financial Group and will be joining a company based in Orem called StoresOnline.com. This is a sales position which involves travelling one week on/one week off schedule. What this means is I will be in a city (or country, since this company also sells in the UK and Canada) for five to six days and then I come back home and will be home for one full week. It's a bummer to be gone that long but it's nice to be able to be home and not have work to worry about work.
If you've ever been in a job that questioned every thing you've ever supposed about yourself, it is not fun. Maybe there should be a primer for someone to follow if they find themselves in a work position that they loathe.
Here are some signs that should tell you clearly you need to run away from your job:
- You wake up in the morning, every morning, and consider calling in sick.
- You pick your music very carefully for your drive in because you know it will be the only pleasurable thing in your life for the next eight hours.
- You try to park in different parking spaces every day to break up the monotony. But then you realize all the spaces are the same and it doesn't really help.
- You get on the elevator and push "4" for your floor and the electronic voice comes on and says "Four" and you want to punch through the control panel and rip out the tiny little chip that holds this electronic voice and smash it into tiny, tiny pieces.
- You are putting your food in the refrigerator and the other person in the kitchen (doesn't matter who it is) says, "Hey, it's almost Friday!" and you have to control yourself from yelling back at them, "Hey, but it's FUCKING NOT IS IT!!"
- You turn on your computer, sit in your chair and stare at your monitor and sigh. Then you sigh again. Just as you're about to sigh again, your work mate in an adjoining cubicle says, "Hey Tucker, shut the hell up. I don't want to be here either."
- As you're making your 98th or 99th phone call of the day (150 calls per day is the goal), and you leave your 50th or 60th voicemail and you know it won't be returned, you understand more clearly than ever in your life the saying, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Insanity approaches with every phone dial.
- When Friday does come and you walk out at 5 o'clock, an incredible, heavy, depressing sensation comes over because you realize that you have to be back at your job in just 72 hours.
- When you get home, and it's a perfect sunny early evening, and you have a lot of options in front of you (bike ride, walk, hit golf balls, mow the lawn, hang on the porch with a beverage), the only thing you want to do is put on your sweats, pull your hoodie over your head and lie down in bed for the rest of the night, the blackest of black thoughts piercing your fevered, exhausted brain.
You have no idea.