The Horrors are a band from the UK that have a new CD coming out May 4. They are a typical garage band with a dark, morbid dynamic to most of their songs. One of the creepiest music videos by any band I've seen is The Horrors "She Is The New Thing", which you can watch here at YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTgOe9Uda54
It is the best 3 1/2 minute 'horror' movie you will see. You have to stay till the end because that's when everyone dies. It's very cool. I've included some tunes from the Horrors in the Playlist. You'll probably hate them. I don't. They are scary good.
I read an article at The Huffington Post recently that said the one common denominator that people attribute to happiness in their lives is staying connected to your past. Primarily it starts with being connected to family, then friends, then past lovers, extended family and so on. And also remaining close to places you lived, major events in your life and the people that were a part of them. Obviously the most painful events in one's past life may have to be avoided but the point is clear: being an island and ignoring your past equals unhappiness (this is from the article).
While I can see the most obvious strength of this argument, staying close to family, it begs the question: what if you're not close to your family? I'm close with my family so I have no worries. But if you're not, if you're estranged, and alienated for whatever reason, where can you connect with your past that will somehow infuse the present with an elixir of joy? And what of the past, some of which should rightly stay in the past? Don't we need to move on from things? Get over them, forget them, sweep them under the rug and keep going?
Here is where I think the article and my own happiness intersect: I have certain family codes (picking up from a previous post) that I attempt to adhere to:
- Jil and Gabe come first, no exceptions.
- If some member of your family offends you, tell them, patch it up and move on quickly.
- Don't be surprised at being offended by your family--it's their job. If we had our choice of people to hang with, we'd all be off living as closely as possible to the coolest people on the planet: Metallica, the Boston Red Sox, Neil Young, Lance Armstrong, the cast from Rescue Me and the people who made Brokeback Mountain, Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler. But, we are stuck with each other so get over your family offending you.
- Important events need to be respected and so do family traditions. There is a reason two of my very favorite memories are: going to Willow Creek Country Club for the Christmas Party with Mom and Dad's friends and going to the cabin every summer. This is being connected to your past and keeping those activities alive.
- Reed Tucker is gay. (Not to offend gay people; it's just that one of our traditions is a holiday party with the Tuckers and Reed called me out so I'm punking him back).
- Oh, and Reed is also a little bitch.
One more note about whether being connected to your past equals happiness: in the movie Magnolia, a theme that runs through that movie is the saying: "You may be done with the past but the past is not done with you." I love to dwell on this saying from time to time because it always amazes me how not dealing effectively with the present can so often totally jack up your future and keep you seemingly forever rooted in a poor decision you made in the past (hello current financial mess).
Be careful what you connect to in the past and if it's good, it should make you happy.
At least this is what my therapist tells me.