Why Be Nice?

So, I've been having these random conversations with a local recruiter. He is currently getting about 100 resumes a day and jobs are sorta scarce. A nice enough guy and we talk about every three weeks or so. Yesterday I called him at my lunch hour and he said, "Hey, Phil, call me back on your way home. I have something that is PERFECT for you." Sweet! I thought. I haven't had even a nibble on any new job prospects for four months and he sounded genuinely enthusiastic to have me call him. His normal tone is somewhat mellow so any kind of excitement must mean...he has some good news to share.

The afternoon dragged on like Paula Abdul rating the latest Idol contestant and finally, at 5:05pm, I rang up this recruiter dude. Let's call him...Paul. Cause that's his name. Paul. Paul the Recruiter. He sounds excited (again!) to hear from me and immediately launches into this new job opportunity. He asks me if I've heard of a company called Dubli. I say no. He then proceeds to tell me it's like Ebay but kind of a reverse auction deal where each time a person bids on an item, the item goes down in price. I had a hard time following this part because I always thought high demand equaled an ever escalating price, but, I'm no econ whiz so I just listened. He tells me how great the company is, that it started in October, that it's really "taking off" and all of a sudden, my network marketing/multi level marketing bullshit detector goes off.

"Is this guy really trying to sell me on a new multi level company? No. No way. He's a recruiter for shit sakes, he has to look for a job for me, find a company that wants someone like me and that can use my talents and pay me what I'm worth. It's now all about him. He is wrangling me in with this ridiculous pitch on some multi level company that is going to eventually require I buy in with a sizable monetary investment."

Such were my thoughts. I actually couldn't believe it. And he kept going on. How the founder made "$98,000 in six months! Can you believe that Phil?" No Paul, I can't believe that. Paul the Recruiter was quickly becoming Paul the D-Bag. I tried to steer him off the subject and back to other companies that were perhaps hiring and he kept brushing by it. I tried to be NICE. Like, no thanks Paul, not for me. And then, like a cold shot of vodka straight from the fridge but without the alcohol and subsequent happy, warm feeling, he hit me with this: "Phil, you can buy into this for only $3,000.00. Or, you could even start smaller, like in the $800 range and that could get you a nice supplemental income until it really started to take off." Oh gee, only Three Grand, eh Paul the Dumbfuck? Wow, sounds awesome. Let me say Paul the Penis Head, if I had Three Grand, I WOULD BUY A NEW FUCKING BIKE ASSHOLE!!!!. AND, I WOULDN'T NEED YOU BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE A JOB THAT PAID ME MORE THAN WHAT I MAKE NOW!!!!

But, I didn't say this. I was NICE. Polite. Mannered. Well mannered, just like I tell Gabe to be. Because, and this has mostly been proven, being nice gets you things. Anyone who has travelled even a little bit realizes quickly that you get much further with agents, baggage handlers, custom folk and all their ilk by being a nice person no matter how bad the situation. But Paul was pushing me. And I could feel an anger coming on. What to do?

I finally agreed to let him send me an email that described the company, Dubli, and what it does and the marketing program and blah blah, big whoop dee doo. He was stoked. "I'll send it right over Phil. Take a look at it. And, oh yeah, if a sales job comes up, I'll let you know." So what did I get for being nice?

Junk email from Paul the Cornhole.

Why be nice?????