Saturday, August 22, 2009


Shellie T.

This is the Sister from the Great White Northwest. She came down in July for the Manti festivities and then proceeded on to Cedar City a week later, with Joanne, to take in the Shakespearean Festival. She got a little drunk and heckled the actors from the stage. Joanne was kind of embarassed but eventually got into it. What did Mother and Daughter shout from the audience in their inebriated state?

a. Nice tights! Looks like you got a roll of dimes in there!
b. Wow, I just love how you are emoting all over the place.
c. You ever see Dead Ophelia? She ruled and you suck!
d. My husband knows more about this stuff than you can even imagine! Amateur!!

ANSWER: No one knows what was said but they were escorted from the premises so I'm going with a.

Grant, Monet, Wolf and Wyatt

Larry just finished Leadville 2009 and he is celebrating with his family. He is also wearing a medal. What does this medal have inscribed on it?

a. Good job Wolf, please come back next year and buy more stuff to help our struggling Leadville economy.
b. Good job Chrome Knees, we knew you'd be back for more suffering.
c. Here's your damn medal, now get the hell out of our sleepy town so we can have some peace.
d. You made it under 12 hours.

ANSWER: All of the above. They can fit a lot of writing on those small medals.

Chloe and Monet

Monet is wearing a custom shirt to help cheer on her Grandpa and Uncle. She wore it reluctantly because what she really wanted written on the back was:

a. I have to come back here every year for how long? You've got to be kidding me.
b. Colorado sucks.
c. Go Lance!! Contador is an idiot!!
d. I went to Leadville and all I got was bad formula, a poopy diaper and crazy people waking up at 4:30am to ride their stupid bikes.

ANSWER: d. Monet is very bitter over the feud between Lance and Alberto. She wants revenge and she will have her revenge next year--Radio Shack 2010 baby!!

Riley in a bad way

What is going through Riley's head right now?

a. Wow, that Egg McMuffin was really a dumb decision.
b. Maybe I don't have to do everything that my father suggests. Maybe I can resist the Puppet Master. I have to try, don't I?
c. Who am I and what do I stand for?
d. Um, I need a PortaPotty, stat!!

ANSWER: Mostly d. However, a through c could also apply. He had a tough day in Leadville but finished. Good job nephew.

The Costanza Suite

This little contraption was built by Uncle Voo for the Tiny Terrors and was also conveniently nicknamed the Costanza Suite, so I could have a place to lay my weary head after six hours of mtn. bike torture courtesy of the Puppet Master. What other names could this hut be called?

a. The Dan I-broke-a-deck-chair Ross Punishment Center
b. The itinerant home of Gator, Bobo, Oil Can, Newbee and Spike
c. The Marconi Mansion, whenever he gets up there again
d. The Joanne and Joyce "Share a Secret" Sleepaway

ANSWER: All of the above. If I'm not sleeping in it and if the Tiny Terrors aren't sleeping in it, it's up for grabs.

Kate Ross

This is Kate and she is currently pursuing an advanced degree. What does she plan to do with this degree once it is obtained?

a. Take over the world.
b. Manage Isabel's singing career.
c. Hang it on the wall of her classroom and walk over to it occasionally, and in the voice of Gollum, repeat over and over, "My precious! My precious...".
d. Become a Principal and use her mighty powers for good.

ANSWER: d. But with a little bit of c thrown in.

Lane, Maddie, AJ

These three youngsters are seen here spending some quality time in Zion with their family. Just prior to this photo, what was going on with their vacation?

a. Robyn and Andy told the kids to go play in the pool because they needed adult "nap time".
b. Joyce brought wine out to the pool, spilled it, caused a scene and eventually fell into the hot tub.
c. Aunt Kristeen was seen over in the corner of the pool area with a rolled up dollar bill and some white powder around her nose. When AJ asked her about it, she said, "The powdered donuts here in Zion are awesome! I just can't get enough!"
d. Lane took a strategic dump in the kiddie pool.

ANSWER: c. Of course, Kristeen can't remember any of this happening.

Brett, Jack, Sarah, Jackie and Curt

What is Curt thinking about in this picture?

a. Was it the blue pill or the red pill? Can't remember which is the upper or the downer...
b. I wonder if Neil Young would like me?
c. I hate small, mini, single bucket, tractor-type loaders.
d. Why am I slicing my 3 wood? Why, Golf Gods, why?

ANSWER: All of the above. The Philospher Genius as a lot going on in his noggin.

Newbee, Voo, assorted fish

These guys were having a serious discussion while they caught these fish. What were they talking about?

a. Newbee was asking Voo if he liked him.
b. Voo was telling Newbee the difference between German tanks and Polish tanks and Newbee was trying to stay awake.
c. Newbee kept yelling, "Roid Sox! Roid Sox!" just to piss Voo off.
d. They were talking trash about Oil Can's waders and how gay they looked.

ANSWER: a. Newbee needs a lot of friend validation.

Teen Teen, Polly and Joyce

This photo was taken in a rare moment when all three of these women were in a good mood. After this picture, they started to fight. What kinds of names did they call each other?

a. Joyce said to Polly, "I can't believe you came from me you Georgia O'Keefe wannabe!"
b. Polly said to Joyce, "Thanks for being there Joan Crawford!"
c. Kristeen said, crying and wiping her nose and sniffing a lot, "Can't we all just get along?"
d. Polly said to Kristeen, "Grow a pair Leaf Eater! And put on some big girl panties while you're at it!"

ANSWER: Unsure. They all have a lot of issues to work out.

Voo and Wolf

Voo is bored and Wolf is happy. Enough said.


  1. Bravo, Costanza, you are the funniest little bastard on the face of the earth......


  2. Loved the quiz Phil! Your quizzes are much much better than the Voo quizzes! Thank you! Although I am a little concerned about some of the happenings that took place in Zion. I was wondering why AJ kept asking my about "powered donuts." Now I know!