Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Response to the Notorious Voo Quiz

I don't want to start a blog war but I've had enough of the Notorious Voo quizzes. They are way too obscure, demented and abstract. A Nazi general? Old timey Western gangsters? What's next, a photo of one of the producers of the The Little Rascals? Holy cow Voo, let's get into this century. And yes I know that those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it so I appreciate your attempt at being The Helpful Scholarly Uncle.

But your quizzes suck.

Here is the Supremely Easy, Fun and Super Duper Informative Quiz from Costanza! And, I Give You the Answers for Instant Gratification! And, You Don't Have to Email Me the Answers Either!

This is Randy Blythe, lead singer for metal band Lamb of God. He does not drink, does not smoke and is a vegetarian. He also does daily meditation and practices a spiritual philosophy that dates back thousands of years. He is:
  • A pagan
  • A Buddhist
  • A Mormon
  • A Templar

ANSWER: Randy Blythe is a Buddhist. Go Randy!

This is the rapper Dolla. He is in the news this week because:

  • He likes the Atlanta Braves just like Dean Hatch
  • He has a tattoo on his hand
  • He was shot in the head outside the Beverly Center Mall in L.A.
  • He will be playing at the Stadium of Fire with the Jonas Bros. on July 4

ANSWER: He was shot by an unknown person. Just like Biggie, just like Tupac. He was 21.

Who are these guys?
  • Two regular dudes totally grateful to be out of the Village on Sunday and having a beer to celebrate
  • Two dudes hanging out at the Ducks Unlimited banquet after doing shots with The Dude (photo NOT courtesy of The Dude's Photography Studio)
  • Two dudes who star in kick ass movies that you should all see
  • Two dudes completely satisfied after having tater tots at Joanne's

ANSWER: Movie stars Jason Statham (Crank, Snatch, Transporter) and Vinnie Jones (Snatch, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels).

This horse and jockey won the Preakness Stakes this past weekend. They are:

  • Karl and Keno kicking ass one last time in the memory of Raz
  • Seabiscuit and Elvis gettin' nice on some sweet Maryland dirt
  • O'Neil Miner and his horse Dipshit doin' some damage on the brown top of Baltimore
  • Rachel Alexandra and Calvin Borel
ANSWER: The first filly to win the Preakness since 1923, Rachel Alexandra beat Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird by a length. Calvin rode Mine That Bird two weeks ago at the Kentucky Derby and called Rachel Alexandra the "fastest horse I've ever ridden. That horse is a freak, man."

Someone in this photo had a very bad bicycle accident two weeks ago. Was it...

  • Gabe?
  • Gentry?
  • Kris?
  • Irene?

ANSWER: Kris. She was on a road bike ride with her friend Vegas and a guy from the Trek Bike Store in American Fork. As they were going through a green light, the guy (sorry, can't recall his name) inexplicably turned around and waited for Kris and Vegas but they were going pretty fast and Kris ran into him head on. She was knocked backwards off her bike and banged her head on the road, while also falling over onto her hand. Her hand is in bad shape and she will have to get surgery to repair damage to fingers and tendons. Her bike was also totaled.

This guy left something behind this week. Who is he and what did he leave?

  • He is an extra from Brokeback Mountain and he left his rubber saddle somewhere in the musky sagebrush
  • He is an extra from No County for Old Men and he just left the Josh Brolin after-party where he realized that he will never be as cool as Josh Brolin
  • He is the drummer for Nickleback and he has just left a crime scene where he has lodged both of his drumsticks firmly into they eye sockets of Chad, the lame lead singer, who always has to have the attention and the chicks
  • Joe Wurzelbacher aka Joe the Plumber, who left the Republican Party.

ANSWER: Joe the Plumber has decided the GOP is just not for him. Wow. That party is in deep doo-doo if Joe the Plumber can't find a home there.

Michael Phelps returned to competition this week after being suspended for smoking pot. He raced six races. How many did he win and who was the rival that beat him?

  • He won one race, was beaten by Snoop Dogg, and later met him backstage for some more 'training' with the chronic
  • He won all of them and then sent a text to Voodoo Vern asking him for the number of his 'special friend in the agricultual department at Utah State'.
  • He won none of them and got so distraught that he phoned Matthew McConnaughy for some buddy bonding time in Matthew's trailer, equipped with the world's largest bong.
  • He won four, lost two and was beaten by Aaron Piersol.

ANSWER: Utah State University's Ag Econ department grows some sweet weed.

And finally, name this singer and her nickname:

  • Ah screw it, I can't think of anything clever or interesting here. It's Brenda Lee, famous for "I'm Sorry" and also known as the Little Dynamite because she was only four feet nine inches tall. She was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002. I am currently enjoying a greatest hits CD of hers. My favorite song is "Break It To Me Gently."

See how much smarter you are? And without all the frustration of looking at gray photos of dead German dudes!


  1. This is more my level! The shout out to Karl and Keno, O'neil and dip shit...hilarious!

  2. Angus,
    Here are my answers-
    He was shot
    Jason Statham & Vinnie Jones
    Rachel Alexandra & Calvin
    Kris (hope she's feeling better)
    Joe the Plumber
    Brenda Lee
    What do I win and where do I pick it up?
    Can I pick it up today? Tomorrow?

  3. You win the good kharma of being a kick ass brother and a very good quiz taker. Go pat yourself on your back and shave your legs. You're a winner!

  4. I didn't know any of the answers. Your quizzes are way too hard.
    You suck!

  5. Anyone who likes Brenda Lee, also likes Marie Osmond, Kathy Lee Gifford, Neil Diamond, Barry Manalow, Wayne Newton, and Barbara Striesand....

    PS... Yes indeed, your quiz does suck. I have the same answers as Wolf. When do I get my prize?